consequently they are in constant conflict with themselves. G.G.'s have a much easier time of expressing their masculine side. How many women do you know (maybe your own wife or sister) who wear their hair short and are seen in slacks, flat shoes, no makeup or jewelry. Some look more like men than some men do.

Now that I have told how I feel and what I think, I'll try to explain what brought this about.

I am the oldest of four boys; I don't have any sisters. My transition started in 1935 when I was eight years old and my first brother was born. I was too young to realize that the pattern of my future was being formed. As well as I can remember we never had to have a baby sitter as that was my job from the time he was two weeks old.

As I grew older I had to help our mother with the cleaning, washing, and cooking, as she had a catering business and she couldn't do everything herself. Even at that time I might just as well have been a girl except that she didn't make me wear dresses. Our father didn't have much to do with us; he would rather be out drinking than to have to spend any time with us. We got so that we hated to have him come home. Whenever he was around the house he never had a kind word to say to any of us. All he would do was to yell and scold for every little thing.

As a teenager I didn't have the freedom that my chums had. Wherever I went I usually had one of my brothers with me. Occasionally I would have to baby sit for one of the neighbors, they said I did a better job than most of the girls and wasn't it too bad that I wasn't born a girl.

In 1942 and 1943 my other two brothers were born. This was about the time I found that mother's underclothes gave me a thrill when I touched them. Whenever my parents went out and left me to babysit I would put on a slip and panties while I masturbated.

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